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[torchbearer]

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[torchbearer]

[ kyle hums. ]

I could eat.

[reneger]

( a detour from the couch then, to instead head towards the kitchen. )

Sandwich or leftovers?

[torchbearer]

Sandwich sounds good.

[reneger]

( sandwiches it is. jason flits around the kitchen, going in the fridge for deli meat and cheese, the cabinet for bread, a couple of jars of condiments--the basics. he knows how to make a sandwich.

stays quiet for a moment while he starts putting shit together. almost like he's--bracing himself a little. )

Rayner.

[torchbearer]

[ kyle looks up for a moment. ]

What is it?

[reneger]

( what is it, and jason's mouth opens before it shuts again. focuses on putting mayo on bread and shifts gears.

offers instead an easier, )

'm glad you're here.

[torchbearer]

[ kyle softens at that. he slips his arms around jason, resting his chin upon his shoulder. ]

I'm glad you're here too.

[reneger]

( his stance widens a little. just enough he can comfortably lean back against kyle without putting all his weight on him. the mayo covered butter knife gets set down for a moment, too. )

Yeah?

[torchbearer]

Yeah.

I come back to you.

[ any time he feels less tethered, less in touch . . . he remembers. and he comes back. ]

[reneger]

( he's quiet, for several moments. holds himself back from saying the automatic you deserve better that comes to mind--not because he doesn't think it's true, but because he doesn't want to hear kyle's response to it. jason's strong, enough he's almost killed batman more than a few times. didn't, not because he couldn't but because he didn't want to. he's destroyed several of gotham's worst, gone toe to toe with leaguers on more than one occasion. but it's this shit that gets him all fucked up. that has him hesitating before every sentence, not because he's afraid he might get too mouthy, but because he's afraid he might just give kyle too much.

so he picks up the knife. gets back to work, and offers as nonchalantly as he can, as if his ears weren't flushed red, )

You can hold onto me tighter, y'know. I don't mind.

[torchbearer]

[ kyle chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to the tip of jason's ear. ]

Okay.

[ and does exactly that. ]

[reneger]

( he can feel how hot his ears are and now that kyle's decided to draw attention to them it's not like he can just--ignore it. gross. jason tips his head into kyle's, but more for the gentle headbutt it results in than anything else. )

Didn't just mean--right now, like this. I meant more in. . . general.

[torchbearer]

[ he does laugh a little now. ]

Okay, okay. Duly noted.

[reneger]

( rude.

jason has two fully assembled sandwiches, but he's not moving away from the counter yet. mostly because he's--enjoying this. the contact. )

I don't mind it when you touch me and shit. I know I tense up sometimes but it's not 'cause I want you to stop.

( he's trying to give kyle blatant permission, not that he thinks it's necessary at this point, but. kyle touching him, holding onto him tightly, nosing in close--it's nice, even if the gentle physical contact still throws jason off a little. he likes it, and while jason can lean on kyle and get in his space all he wants to try and show it, he knows words are important here too. )

[torchbearer]

[ kyle hums. ]

I know. Old habits and all that.

I'll try and do it more often.

[reneger]

You should sleep more often, too.

( voice low, a little more solemn, but it breaks into something softer when he grabs onto kyle's arms enough to loosen their hold so jason can turn around in them, and--stays in close.

smiles. )

'fore I hold you down and make you.

[torchbearer]

[ kyle has always enjoyed a little manhandling. donna used to do it frequently. ]

Who says I'm against that?

[reneger]

Do you want me to hold you down, Rayner?

( it's soft. playful even. jason raises a hand to cup his palm against the back of kyle's head, fingers threading through his hair. )

'cause there's more fun ways to do that than trying to bully you into a nap.

[torchbearer]

[ kyle rests his palm against the curve of jason's cheek. ]

Do I seem like someone who's against that kind of fun?

[reneger]

I remember how you talked about Donna pinning you.

( fingers tighten in kyle's hair, just enough to pull. leans in close as if going for a kiss, but leaves space so he can keep sassing. )

Want me to play rougher, baby? Manhandle you a little? Leave bruises you'll be feeling for days that're clearly there to remind everyone you're mine?

( the playful lilt is back in his tone, and the confidence is significantly less about being confident and more about--jason knowing how to run his mouth and keep up with this particular brand of teasing. )

[torchbearer]

[ kyle shivers, pleased, but he doesn't seem particularly cowed. instead he brushes his thumb over jason's lower lip. ]

I told you before. I don't do play.

[reneger]

You play, you just don't play around. There's a difference.

( but he's--slowing down for a moment. stays pressed close and doesn't dislodge kyle's thumb. talks as if it isn't there. )

This ain't fucking around just to see how hard I can push before you push back. I'm already yours.

[torchbearer]

[ that's true. maybe it's kyle who is dancing around. he's always let other people dictate their desires. for him, it was enough to be in their orbit. to love them the way they wanted to be loved.

he's never given much thought to his own. ]

Then I . . . would like that.

[reneger]

( jason hadn't spent a significant period of time with kyle before without picking up on a few nuances of what he liked. hell, hasn't spent almost a year in his space here without finding a few more. he knows kyle's an asshole, a tease, knows he follows jason's pace regardless on if he really needs to or not. remembers he'd said it was kyle's lead, but it was jason's pushing that led to them fucking around on his couch in nyc. jason pushing and pulling this whole damn time, and kyle just following the flow of it.

that's changing, now.

hands move down until jason's got palms spread over kyle's upper thighs. puts enough pressure it's clear he's pulling him forward, likely intending on picking him up but doesn't yet. )

I'm yours. ( he repeats it, softens the words a little. ) I'm not going anywhere. But you're mine, an' I want to give you what you want, too. You know that, right?

[torchbearer]

[ kyle rests his palms over jason's shoulders, letting them slide down. it's very different. maybe he had been unconsciously trying to fit it in the same part where all his other loves had been. the same shape, the same structure.

but it's nothing like that. ]

. . . I'll get better at it. At saying so.

But I do know that.